Jett Benjamin Mullins

My precious and very active 1 year old. I can't believe how fast your first year flew by! Words cannot express the joy you've brought into our life. You have made Truett a brother and brought so much laughter to him. I know he adores you as much as you look up to him.

You weigh 24 lbs., inches, and have more energy than I thought was possible in a 12 month old. You love to climb and I call you my monkey. Daddy calls you "Dinky Dink" we also often call you "Jetter Beanie" a nickname from your daddy's childhood (He was called "Er Beanie" by Maw Maw). We love hearing you bark like a dog and make sounds like the fire truck. You try to say so many words, I think you are just on the verge of chatting my ear off.

You love to aggravate your brother in "sneaky" ways, like jabbering really loud while he is trying to talk or tell a story. You love being rough and love the game "King Rhinoceros", you will growl when Wayne is close to you and he will growl back; a game you two play!

You're wearing mostly 18 month clothes, some 12-18 months and some 18-24 months. Your feet are long and narrow. You can get off of our pretty high bed and work your way off the couch with your feet first. Not very cautious but a good risk taker. Sometimes you can be quite sneaky.

You love food, and will eat almost anything. Sometimes you will spit something out, but if I try again you almost always will eat the rest of whatever the food is. You drink formula before breakfast, dinner, and bed time. You eat just big boy food for lunch and soon you will for dinner. You love water in your "big boy" sippy cup (has a straw) and love almond milk.

Your dirty blond, wavy hair and beautiful blue eyes make everyone stop and admire "what a cute baby". I try not to show it, but I think you're quite handsome, myself. I love the way you put your head into mine and hold onto me.

You love music, dancing and singing. You love cars and anything on wheels. If something is not on wheels you will try to push it like it had them. You love dogs and firetruck sounds.

You have a favorite blanket and when you see it you will put your two middle fingers (usually on your left hand) and suck on it while you put the blanket in or by your mouth. You take 2 ( two hour) naps and sleep 12.5-13.5 hours at night. You don't miss a beat if you miss your first nap. You have a very calm nature (so far) and play so good by yourself that it worries me sometimes (not really).

I love how you try to sit in EVERYTHING! Anything that is small and has a hole you will try to sit in. You also try to "get" in your books. I found you pulling your "I love you through and through" book off your night stand, opening it up and sitting on the pages like you wanted to get in. You have recently enjoyed reading a quick book, usually when you take your night bottle (I guess it's the only time your still).

I can't wait to see what your personality develops into. I pray for you and your future. I pray that one day God calls you his son and that you marry God's chosen wife for you and together you both raise godly children. I pray God gives me more wisdom as you grow so that I might meet your needs and guide you to the one who will meet all our needs.

I love you my Jett Benjamin Mullins!

Boundaries... with kids part 3

The Source

In the book, Boundaries for Kids, they outline how children are not born with any resources and must rely on us, their parents, for everything. We are the source of all good things, not only must they have their basic needs met: food, water, shelter, and clothes. They also need immaterial things such as: love, spiritual growth, wisdom, support and knowledge, all of which are out of reach.

Children need to learn how to receive and use responsibility that is given them and gradually take over the role of meeting their own needs. SO, our goal, as parents should be always moving from the source to giving them the resources and confidence they need to be the source and provider of those things mentioned in the above paragraph.

This was calling my name when I read the book: " If parents give without boundaries, children learn to feel entitled and become self-centered and demanding. Ungratefulness becomes a character pattern. If parents hold resources to tightly, children give up and do not develop the hope of reaching goals that have gratifying rewards.

I've been so thankful for this child-training tips and pray God will show me how to use the tips in our everyday life.

Boundaries... with kids part 2

The manager is hard for me, because letting Truett have consequences and following through with them hurt me almost as much as him. It is most often easier for me to use the rod, or spank, than to use consequences for his actions. I don't recommend replacing the rod, or belt, or whatever you use for utter disobedience or for the things that you have told him (or her) he will get a spanking for. But I really need to start using "If... Then". What I mean is that I should tell Truett "If you push your brother then you will not have any lights on at night night time or no swords for 3 days (a very big deal).

The book, Boundaries for kids explains that a manager makes sure things get done. Goals are reached, demands and expectations are met. Children aren't born with self-discipline this is something "caught", learned through example and explanation. This is why other "discipline" is necessary.

I've heard of the phrase "fake it, til you make it" in business. In child-rearing, boundaries facilitate the process of having the child internalize things that were external to him. What was once external becomes internal. Setting limits and requiring the child to take ownership and responsibility entail a clear understanding of boundaries.

If a farmer had no fence with hundreds of livestock we would think he was a very foolish farmer. But a parent with no boundaries for their child is just as foolish. As is, the parent who has too many boundaries that the child is insecure in taking any risk and therefore will not grow.

I've learned that I must give Truett small (age appropriate tasks such as taking care of his things and household jobs) and outline what will happen if doesn't follow through with the task. I will have to stick to the consequences. This is hard for me and him but best for him in his life. I must do the right things!

Boundaries... with kids

This book has really opened my eyes. I will just share a few excerpts from the book and share my feelings and opinions.

There are three main points of parenting in the first chapter- from Boundaries:

-Guardian
-Manager
- Source

I'll just cover the first in this post.

The Guardian:

The Guardian protects and preserves the child. Galatians 4:2 says "He is subject to guardians and trustees until the time set by his father." Dr. Cloud says, "Children do not possess the wisdom for protecting and preserving their own life. They do not know right from wrong, dangerous from safe, good from better, life from death." They think only of immediate gratification.

Our job, as parents, is to raise wise, godly children who mature into wise, godly adults. Wisdom comes from experience, which all children lack. I have to give Truett (Jett and future children) enough freedom in their boundaries to gain experience but not so much freedom that they will hurt themselves.

"Too little freedom to gain experience and the child forever remains a child. Too much freedom and the child is in danger of hurting himself." - Dr. Henry Cloud

Here are a few sources of danger our children may face if we give them too much freedom:
1. Dangers within themselves
2. Dangers in the outside world.
3. Inappropriate freedoms they are unable to handle at the current time
4. Never appropriate or evil actions, behaviors, or attitudes
5.Their own regressive tendency to remain dependent and avoid growing up.

I have a tendency to do things for Truett because they are easier for me to do and making Truett do them would take three times as long. In the end I know he will only be the kind of man I would like him to be if I teach him to do things the right way and spend the time to show him.

This is very hard for me since time is a very limited resource, and it doesn't look like I'll be getting any MORE time in the near future! I also have been trying to make things easier on him because I don't want him to feel the affects of failure, rejection, and hard times. I am helping Truett learn from his mistakes by letting him experience the repercussions of his actions (good or bad) and explaining why they happened. No, I'm not letting him fly off cliffs or hurt himself, but when I can, I try to let him feel the "natural" effects of doing things he shouldn't.

How do you (or have you or will you) balance between too much freedom and too little freedom?

When the going gets tough...

When Truett was a baby I had my ideas of "tough". Getting him to go back to sleep when he woke up early from a nap, eating table food exclusively, or just getting the concept of "no-no". These days there is a whole new realm of "tough". Issues like: obeying immediately, not arguing or "talking back", or just being unkind to his younger brother. Don't get me wrong he is great when it comes to helping me cleanup or checking on his brother. Sometimes he is an angel that can do "no" wrong. BUT... there are days when I'm asking him not to whine more than I should or asking him not to push his brother, or saying "don't ask why, just obey". I feel like a failure on those days, but I know I am a mother, who's not perfect, saved by grace and wanting and striving to bring my children up in the ways of the Lord. This is not my excuse to be lazy in doing those things, it's me being honest with you.

Many months ago my mother-in-law told me of a book she's reading called Boundaries, she went on and on about how great it was. I looked it up and found Boundaries With Kids; after reading the reviews and reading an excerpt I put it on my wish-list. Within a week or two my sweet mother-in-law picked it up and gave me an early Christmas gift! I started reading it yesterday and became greatly intrigued and enlightened.

I have only read the first chapter and started on the second. I probably won't agree with everything they say or teach but these guys seem very wise and biblical (so far). I feel like everything (so far) lines up with God's Word and is very beneficial. I thought I might share a little through my blog on the highlights and lessons that help me the most.

Right now I struggle with doing the right thing v/s the easy thing. Before me is the biggest challenge of my life (parenting) and without God, and his Word, I know this will be an insurmountable task. Wayne is both my biggest cheerleader and worst critic (I need both). God, please give me the strength to do the right thing more than the easy thing. It's not all about Truett, but Jett and this (no named) itty bitty are still going through the "other" tough times.